Tag Archives: books

Well Hello There!

Hello all! Long time no see. You might wonder where I have been but this blog is called Geeky Mommy, so I bet you can guess! That’s right; I have been busy being a mom to a 4 year old girl (Remy) and a 1 year old boy (Logan), oh and an 8 month old puppy (Thor) who is probably a bigger baby than the children combined. I also went back and finished my MBA and now work as a Business Analyst, which I love! We bought a house in June in the school district we really wanted to be in and we plan on making the attic a play/game room this spring and into fall probably.

On the geeky side of my life I have been playing WoW again (and writing my WoW blog) and it has been my primary game. I have also played Hearthstone, Diablo 3, Civ 5 (amazing still to this day), and Portal 2. My husband and I even were dabbling in table top role playing games again with friends which systems included World of Darkness and a system that a friend made up. Board games have also made a big appearance in our lives where we have been playing Dominion, Thunderstone and others. We have also played some more Magic and finally got into Warhammer (wood elves for me of course). Plus I have read a massive amount of books and seen an equally massive amount of movies. Some of these items I will be talking about in the next few weeks.

I am looking forward to talking about books, movies, games, and babies!

I am starting up ending with a movie quote again! Do you know this movie title? – “My mommy always said there were no monsters – no real ones – but there are.”

PS – notice anything geeky about the names of our kids?


50 Shades update and 19 Days of Korn

First off….Dana over at DaneTrain.com decided to challenge me to reading the 50 Shade trilogy. I took her on with this since I have suffered though the Twilight series and Mockingjay.   I am about 75% completed with the first book and I can say that I just cannot stand the writing. It is like reading porn…well poorly written porn. I swear that every chapter has at least two sex scenes. And it seems like it is written by a five year old. But I digress, I will write a review on the entire book when I finish it.

Now onto more important matters! So on June 19th I will be seeing Korn in concert and I am beyond excited! Because of this I have decided to take after the 12 days of Christmas and start the 19 days of Korn! I will post a song that I love by Korn everyday (hopefully) and tell you why I love it.

Let’s start with a classic Korn song. “Blind” (Track 1 from the album Korn) Korn’s first album is amazing. It is hard, heavy, and I always thought the base line was killer. Do I have to mention that Jonathan Davis screaming is amazing. This is a classic Korn track and I will always love it. Check out the song and the video here: Korn – Blind

Life as I know it…

Things are going back to normal, at least I am making them go back to normal. My husband is finally back to school and I can go back to some sort of routine. I am watching the news, getting up early, and working on homework early rather than waiting until Thursday to start. What I really need is a planner, one that I can write in and gather my thoughts and to-dos all in one place. I would really like a daily planner, though I could get along with a weekly, I just think that daily is way nicer to work with. That way, I could write down all that I need to do for the day like homework, reading, and working out.  I would use an online planner that would connect to my iPhone but I have yet to find one. Any suggestions? Right now I was messing around with Hotmail Calender, but I am not sure how I feel about it. Since I have  a five month old, I know that things can be knocked out of whack and I would probably not finish all that I need to get done, but at least I would not forget.

I started walking with the baby today. I figured I could do 2 miles in the morning and 2 in the evening. She really enjoys the walks and it is good for both of us. Plus videos (if I have time), Zumba on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s and a healthy diet, I will get in better shape in no time. It is hard to eat healthy though in the house we live in since we are living with so many people. Most will only eat processed food and things that are horrible for you. But since we are a little low on the money side, I have to eat what is in the house. A friend of mine told me how to make homemade granola bars, which when she made them were delish! I would love to try to make them and to buy fruit to eat. Plus, she also taught me how to make homemade baby food which is more cost effective and healthier for the baby. Once some money comes in, I will be practicing to make all of the new foods.I want to get my husband, daughter, and I to get on the right track. Anyone know a good website where I could find healthy recipes?

Gaming is something I do not have much time for, but I would love to get back into raiding in WoW. Another thing I would like to do is crafts. Not sure which kind, but something fun and easy. Maybe make a blanket for the baby, or clothes. I could paint bird houses too or even create organizational tools. Anyone know a good place where I could look at craft ideas?

I also need to work on my blogs more. As you can see I have not had that much time to do that, but I love to write. It would be nice to also write my novel as well. Last but not least, I would like to read more. I LOVE to read and frankly I could do it all the time, but it is hard with the baby and with all the other things I want to do.

As you can see I really need to get organized! I need to work at things all day and not waste time just sitting around and watching TV all day. What are your organizational tips? Any helpful advice?

Books that Everyone Needs to Read

I found this really neat post in which David McCandless & Miriam Quick took polls, survey’s, and top 100 lists, and created a consensus cloud to name the most mentioned books amongst these three. Since I did a post about what BBC thought the classics were, I thought it would be interesting to go through and see which of the books in this consensus cloud I have read.

Here is what I have read from the cloud and a little of what I think:

  1. Of Mice and Men (Good)
  2. Lord of the Flies (Did not enjoy)
  3. Winnie the Pooh (Good)
  4. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (Good)
  5. The Lord of the Rings (Good)
  6. Harry Potter (Good)
  7. Brave New World (Highly Recommend)
  8. The Hobbit (Good)
  9. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland (Good)
  10. Great Expectations (Highly Recommend)
  11. The Good Earth (Good)
  12. Animal Farm (Good)
  13. 1984 (Highly Recommend)
  14. Ender’s Game (Highly Recommend)
  15. Frankenstein (Good)
  16. Dracula (Highly Recommend)
  17. Little Women (Good)
  18. Twilight (Good)

Oh wow…I am doing horrible on this list! However I will say that many of the ones that I have read were my favorite books of all time. What I would like to do is download all these books on my Kindle (after I am done reading my other books mind you) and get cracking!

Are there any on this list that you have read and loved? Are there any you did not like? What would you recommend that I read first?

Book: Chapter Nine

The next chapter in my novel, which still requires a lot of edits.  Comments and emails are welcome! 🙂

****Warning, this is not a PG novel. There is language! So, if you are offended by words, I would not read.****


Our ceremony took place in a large clearing. Trees surrounded the outside circle marking the boundaries of the holy ground. Three large rocks stood dead center of the grounds. This was where rites were performed. A fire burned to the right and life sides of the rocks, casting dim glows on the crowd. 27 werewolves and 60 kin stood out in the darkness. Melissa kneeled to the right of the crowd, taking the position of lead rite mistress. I was to her left. A howl resonated from the council of leaders that stood to the right of the rocks. The ceremony had begun.

Jonathan walked out from the seated council which contained him, Ryan, Sara, and Jeffery, who was the enforcer of laws and punishment. Jeffery was a very tall man with broad shoulders and a strong jaw. He was harsh and followed every law to a “T.” It was him I feared the most with this new healing ability I was doing. If he caught me I was done for.

Melissa and I sat with our hoods up and our heads bowed while Jonathan spoke. “Tonight we are here to honor the life of Connor, Keeper of the Gate. He was a man who put his life on the line every day for every man, wolf, or creature on this reserve. Connor patrolled the boarders of the reserve everyday to keep us all from harm. We are the ones who put him in harm’s way. Yet that meant nothing to him. The only thing that meant anything to Connor was the life and sanctity of our home. He protected our lives and gave his in return, and for that we thank him.” Howls rang out through the crowd, echoing one another. I knew all of the humans shifted form to give a last goodbye to Connor. A small tear slid down my cheek as I prayed to Gaia to keep Connor’s spirit safe.

After the howls died down Jonathan spoke again. “But before we start out ritual, I have a few announcements to make. First off, I would like to introduce a new member to our reserve. His name is Jalal and he came from overseas to join our ranks. I would hope that everyone treats him kindly and warmly. I am assigning Razziel Petrovitch and Aisha DeEspronceda to his care.

I looked up slightly to see a thin shadowed figure walk out from the crowd. He was taller than the other werewolves here, possibly 6’4” or 6’5”. I could tell he had dark hair but it was too dark to see what he truly looked like. I would have to get a better look later. I bowed my head back down as Jonathan spoke again. “Secondly, after tonight we will be following a curfew on the grounds. Unless you are given special permission, you are not permitted not leave your house after dark. This goes for kin and shifter alike.” I sighed to myself, Razzi and I always went out after dark. We will just need obtain this special permission he spoke of. “We will be forming a special team to assist on ground watch till we deem the area is safe. Now, let the Ritual of Great Passing begin.”

Jonathan headed back to his seat and that was our cue. Melissa and I both rose and bowed to the crown, then to the elders, and finally to one another. Connor’s body was then brought to us by two members of his pack in their true werewolf form. They placed him gently in front of us in the circle. We then bowed to the body. I copied Melissa’s moves exactly. From the washing of her hands, to the rubbing of the ointment on the body, Melissa and I were in perfect sync. As we started chanting, warmth seemed to arise in my body. It was like a prickly dance of energy was flowing through my veins.  We dipped our hands in the bowls of blood and a ripple of chill entered me as well. A hot and cold essence filled my person. I closed my eyes and not only followed Melissa’s movements, but evolved them.

Energy started to flow out of me as we got closer to the end of the chant. I opened my eyes to a world of spirits. I could see them moving and flowing throughout the sacred area. Dancing in the wind out our words, we were calling them to us, calling them to help guide Connor to Gaia. The spirits were coming and for the first time, I could see and feel their presence. Our chant ended but they spirits did not leave my sight. I felt Sara and Melissa stare at me while the other wolves sounded the final call. Could they feel the energy I was producing? Please let’s not make my life more complicated…

We all broke for the party. After every ritual there was a celebration of sots, full of food, drinking, and general chatter. I started cleaning the ritual area when I saw my mother approach me. She was a shorter woman with short cut graying hair. My mother had always been pretty fit, but had gained some extra weight in the past few years; she was going to be 50 next month. The fire reflected off her glassed and her already fierce green eyes looked almost scary in the light.

Aisha Lee DeEspronceda ,” everyone knew when my mother was mad at me since she was so loud when giving me grief. “What in the world happened to you? I went to see you at the hospital and you were gone! No note, no call, nothing! How are you even out of bed? Your wounds were weeks, maybe even months away from being healed properly. “ I glanced around to see who was watching. Most had gone to the part already, only Melissa, Sara, Jonathan and Razzi, who was coming up behind my mother, remained.

Mom, I’m fine. I promise. I am so sorry I forgot to call, I just got busy. Had to shower and prepare for tonight.”

Yeah Mrs. DeEspronceda,” Razzi cut in, “I drove her home after I visited this afternoon. We should have called but it took a while to redress the wounds properly.” My mother looked at her and I gave her a quick nod before she looked back.

Everything is fine Mom, just go and enjoy the party. We can talk when I get home tonight. “I smiled at my mother trying to give her some comfort.

She looked at me knowingly, “You better be home at a decent hour young lady.”  She looked to Razzi, “Will you get her home ok?” Razzi nodded as my mother put her hand on my left shoulder and gave a little squeeze. I continued to clean as she walked away. I crotched down towards the mess and Razzi joined me.

Aish, was not your ‘injured’ shoulder your mother just touched was it?” She finger quoted the word injured and I looked at her blankly.

Oh…..crap. Do you think anyone noticed?”

Razzi glanced to the people around us, “I’m not sure. But she sure as hell did.”

I nodded, “well this will not be easy to explain. But there is something I need to tell you. When I was at home today, I heard a knock at the door. When I went to answer it there was a box on the porch.” I hesitated for a minute, checking to make sure no one was in earshot and continued quietly. “In the box was pictures of you all big and furry and attacking me.”

What the fuck,” Razzi gasped, “who took them?”

I don’t know Razzi, but Ryan took them to see if he could trace them for anything like that. There is more…” I moved in closer to her so that I could talk below a whisper, “Connor’s horn was in the box.”

What? Where is it now?”

I gave it to Jonathan. This is so bad and I am really not sure what to do. I  mean-“ the crunching of footsteps broke out conversation and we both looked up to see an olive skinned human standing above us.

The three of us stared at each other for a few breaths till Razzi finally broke the silence. “Umm hello?” It was not till then that I recognized the tall man. It was the new guy that Jonathan introduced during the meeting, the one we were to show around. What a bad time for formalities.

He bowed his head graciously to the both of us, “my name is Jalal. I believe your Elder Jonathan spoke of me during the rite.”

Razzi and I rose from the ground and slightly bowed our heads in return. I extended my hand to him, “I am Aisha DeEspronceda. It is a pleasure to meet you.” He grabbed my hand and raised it to his lips placing a light kiss on it. This was not a common tradition around here, especially when you are greeting kin.

I am Razziel Petrovitch.” Razzi said as she held out her hand. He gently let go of mine and took hers. This was a different kind of handshake.   It was firm, like he was trying to impress her. And from the look in her eyes I could tell she was.

It is so wonderful to meet you both. Jonathan has spoken so highly of you two.  I am happy to finally meet the kin that Jonathan holds in such high regard. After that spectacle tonight, I am sure you are a wonder. “

Razzi and I glanced quickly to one another. “Well,” she started. “Let me show you to the party and get you introduced to the rest of the reserve. We will see you in a bit Aish.”

I nodded. “It was great to meet you.”

Pleasure was mine,” Jalal responded as he bowed his head and followed Razzi off to the party.

I bent back down to gather up my things. Melissa, Sara, and Jonathan all walked up towards me. Sara was finally out of wolf form. She was a very plain woman, only a little taller than me and thin as a rail. She wore no makeup nor fancy clothes for that matter. But it all worked for her. Sara was one of those people who looked best natural.

Hey guys,” I started speaking before they could trying to plan my escape. “Great ceremony tonight huh? I probably should be heading off to the party, don’t want to miss out on all the food. Man I am famished.” I started to stand and Jonathan offered me his hand and placing his other hand on my injured shoulder. I flinched away a little late, “Ouch, Jonathan that is my bad shoulder.” All three of them looked at me knowingly.

Aisha,” Jonathan spoke first, “show me your shoulder.”

I, uhh, well I…” I stammered. Sara took the opportunity to lean in and smell my shoulder. I knew she could not smell any blood. I nodded and bit my lower lip gently. I placed my things on the ground and sighed as I lowered my hood. I pulled my robe off my shoulder, revealed the bandages and began slowly unwrapping them. I finally unveiled the smooth skin of my shoulder. All that was left of the wounds was small puncture scars from the bite.

Jonathan ran his hand on my skin, sending a shiver up my spine. He fingered the scars intently trying to feel every centimeter. “How did this happen? I mean this is incredible, but how are you fully healed already?” His fingers tingled on my skin like dancing electricity.

I don’t know Jonathan, I just woke up at the hospital this morning and they were gone.”

Melissa walked closer to inspect the non-existent wounds. “This is troubling Aisha. Not only are you healing, but what happened to you during the ritual is another matter. I felt you open up and call the spirits. That was your power, not mine.” She placed her hand on my shoulder, pushing Jonathans to the side. “Plus Sara is right, you smell of different energy than before.”

Listen,” Jonathan spoke, “we must keep this to ourselves. Jeffery will have you banished, or worse killed if she is found not to be a kin. We will need to think of what to do about this matter.”

Sara wondered up to me, “Jonathan, you know we do not need to think about what is going on here. From what she has showed us during the ritual and these wounds being healed, I fear she is a magic user.”

My heart sank in my chest as this word came from her parted lips. A magic user, it made sense but how could it be? “Why Sara? Why do you think this?”

You smell of pure energy.” Sara spoke softly as she strode towards me. “This energy calls us to it like a moth to a flame. Look at Jonathan, he cannot keep his hands off of you.” It was the first time I noticed Jonathan was tracing my scars on my back with his fingers through the cloth of my robe. He seemed to just notice it too and stopped instantly as he glanced to Sara.

I tried to speak but it was too hard. I swallowed and took a deep breath. “If I am one of them, I cannot stay here anymore. I will be a danger to everyone around me. Plus if Jeffery found out he will kill me. I need to uhh…” I sniffed back the tears, “leave the reserve for everyone’s sake.”

Aisha,” Jonathan spoke, “we will talk to Ryan. Maybe he will let you run one of his businesses. We can give you a duty off of the reserve as to not arise suspicion. Then you can come and visit all the time. Here, let me get you home.” I nodded I was not in the mood for a party tonight.

We got into his pickup and drove home in silence. I had too much on my mind. magic users were the worst of the worst. They fed off energy of others and used it to perform magic. Since our reserve had a huge energy source, there were attacks on it by the magic users from time to time. Their powers were limitless, seeming to bend reality at their will. I felt like I was committing blasphemy to Gaia, like I was desecrating her home.

When we reached the town square where the roads split off into different housing districts, I noticed we were turning down the wrong road. “Jonathan, I live the other way.” I said pointing to the road going the opposite way.

I know,” he said softly, “but I thought you could use a drink and someone to talk to. Sound ok?”

Yeah,” I nodded. I guess I needed some time off. I would have cracked a joke about not getting drunk and taking advantage of me, but this was Jonathan not Ryan.

His house looked just like all the others, even for being the leader of this reserve. A simple and plain log cabin and unlike most of the others, his was not covered in flowers and other outside decorations. As we walked up to his door, I realized I was still in my robes, which in light almost bared all. I decided to keep my arms crossed in front of my chest the whole time.

Make yourself at home, I’ll be right back.” Jonathan offered as he walked towards the kitchen. I had seen his house before and it really had not changed much. Same brown furniture, same bear skin rug on the ground, nothing had changed. This was one of the things I loved about Jonathan, consistency. “What’s your poison Aish?” I heard him yell from the kitchen.

Jack and coke, please, if you have it.” I could hear the clanking of glasses and bottles in the kitchen. I sat on the couch, watching the fire crackle and feeling its heat on my cool skin. “Thanks,” I said as Jonathan handed me the glass. I sipped the drink and felt the warmth of the liquor slide down my throat. I was feeling better already.

Jonathan sat on the other end of the couch. The silence was strange at first, neither of us knew what to say. “I’m sorry Aisha,” he started, “for taking advantage of you. I shouldn’t have kissed you, but I was weak. Please forgive me.” He scooted closer down the sofa.

I placed my drink on the table and grabbed his hands in mine. “It’s alright. You did not use me or anything. Besides it was nice.” I smiled, “I kinda needed it.”

Jonathan looked up at me and deep into my eyes, “Then forgive me for what I’m about to do right now.” The next move happened too quickly for me to react to. Jonathan came forward at me pushing me back gently on the couch by my shoulders. He placed his lips on mine, parting them with his tongue. He hands moved from my shoulders, slowly down my body. Without thinking I kissed him back, sliding my tongue into his mouth. His mouth left mine and he started kissing and nibbling down my neck. My heart was racing as I felt his through his chest. His hand reached the tie of the robe, quickly untying it with ease.

Wait, what was I doing? What if Sara was right, what if he just wanted me because I was emitting some new energy, drawing him to me? “Jonathan wait,” I said breathlessly. He looked up at me, eyes burning with intensity. “Do you really want me or are you just reacting to the new energy? I just…”I sighed, hating myself for what I was going to say next, “I cannot do this for the wrong reasons.”

His eyes shifted down, “I do not know the answer to your question Aish, and all I know is that I need you right now.”

But what happens after?”

I don’t know…” He let his voice trail off.

Then this cannot happen. I just can’t. You are not some plaything I picked up at a bar. You are my Elder and,” I scooted out from under him, tying my robe back in place, “my heart feels too strongly for you for this to be just some one night stand you need to get out of your system.” I stood up and started walking to the door.

Wait. Aisha please.” I felt his hand on my shoulder.

Jonathan, no I am sorry but,” I turned to face him, “I love you too much to let this happen for the wrong reasons.” I put my hand on his cheek and gently kissed his lips. “And, if I stay here any longer, I know I will not be able to resist you. I cannot have you regretting me in the morning” I turned and walked about the door. It would be a long, cold walk home but I needed to be alone.

As the hour walk home slowly passed by, I thought about my new fate. I was something hated and feared by the werewolves. The law say to kill a magic user on sight when found. And tomorrow I needed to leave the only place I had ever known. What a crappy way to end my last night here. I snuck into my house through my bedroom window. There was no way I was going to deal with my mother tonight.

Book: Chapter Eight

This is the last chapter that I have typed up so far and it is not even completed yet! I am hoping to continue to type up a chapter a day…lets see how it goes!  Comments and emails are welcome! 🙂

****Warning, this is not a PG novel. There is language! So, if you are offended by words, I would not read.****


I awoke to a light knock at my door, “Honey, you in there? Jonathan and Ryan are here to see you,” my mom said softly.

I glanced up at my clock. It was only 8:30. “Give me a minute.” I replied while I hopped out of bed and into the bathroom. I desperately needed a shower but that would have to wait. I through on a black tank top and jeans, and through my hair back in a ponytail. I opened the door to my room to see Jonathan and Ryan sitting at the kitchen table with my mom and dad. My mom had coffee ready and was cooking eggs at the stove. I hated eggs.

Jonathan was in his usual flannel shirt and jeans. Ryan wore a gray shirt, dark jeans, and a leather jacket. Leave it to him to make everyone else in the room look poor. My mother, Liz, was sporting a red shirt and jeans. My father who I knew had been up since 6 am like always was in his blue shirt and overalls. His graying hair was combed over to hide his balding head. My father, Richard, was reading the paper. I took the empty seat next to him.

“What are you guys doing here so early?” I poured myself a cup of coffee and grabbed some toast off the plate in the center of the table.

“We came to ask you a favor Aish. I need your help with a little venture in the city.” Good old Ryan, always quick to the point.

“What kinda venture?” I asked taking a swig of coffee.

“Well you know that bar I own on the Strip District? BMR?”

“I’ve heard of it,” I said smiling a bit. I did not mention that I frequented there about 5 to 6 times a month. My parents did not need to know about my extracurricular activities.

“Well, I was wondering if you would be able to run the place for me. I mean we need a new manager there and I thought you would be perfect. Plus, above the bar is a huge four bedroom apartment, which you of course could live in free of charge. I will even pay you for running the joint.” He smiled his charming grin. This must have been their plan for getting me off the reserve safely. The offer was good too.

“Aisha,” my mother looked up from her cooking as she spoke, “you do not need to lie to your father and I. I know that when I grabbed your shoulder last night, you did not even flinch from the pain. And I know you should still be feeling the side effects of those wounds. So do not play us like we are dumb.” My father lowered his paper to look at me. “We love you Aisha and all we want is your safety. If running that little bar in the city will help keep you safe, then you do it. But you just remember where you home really is.”

I smiled at the both of them, “Alight Ryan, you heard them. Looks like I’m running the bar.”

“Excellent. Now we already delievered the news to Razzi and Jalal and they are packing right now-“

“Wait what? Razzi and Jalal are coming too?”

“Of course,” Jonathan interjected, “We do not break up packs around here.”

“But we are not a pack.”

“Not yet.” Jonathan replied.

“Kin cannot be pack members. They can assist the pack but they cannot fully become a member.” I knew the laws of the pack and they were firm.

“Well Aish, we know there are exceptions to every rule don’t we?”

He gave me a soft smile and I returned it. “Alright then. I should go and pack.” I stood slowly from my seat and taking a fast bite of toast. I made eye contact with Jonathan and Ryan and glanced to my door, hoping they would get the hint.

Think you might need some help?” Ryan asked.

Sure, I always need big, strong men to do my heavy lifting. Plus we can go over some bar details.” I walked to my room with the two of them following. I closed the door behind us. “Alright guys, let’s talk. What is the real reason for sending those two with me?”

We thought that with the whole package situation you could use some company.” Jonathan said.

Aish, we could not find any prints but yours and Jonathans on the pictures. And there were no numbers on the back to trace to a store. It looks like they were printed directly from a camera printer. As for the bar, I could really use someone to watch over it. Plus I knew you guys go there often to party. So it will be like a party for you every day.” He laughed.

But it is more than that,” Jonathan shot Ryan a dirty look. “If you are being followed, we want you to have some protection. Plus, since Razzi was in the picture too, it is best to get her out of here as well. We need to keep the reserve safe at all costs. And there are some possible ways you can help out the reserve from the city, checking out some people, that kinda thing. Are you ok with all of this?”

Of course I am.” I grabbed a suitcase out of the closet and started packing my clothes into it. “Ryan, is the place furnished?”

You know it is. Only the best for my girl.” He smiled.

Jonathan looked at him, “Can you give us a few?”

Sure, but don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Ryan said laughing as he walked out the door.

I kept packing, not looking up to Jonathan. This was awkward, after last night I was really not sure how to face him again.

He broke the silence first, “Aish will you please look at me?”

I stopped putting clothes in the suitcase and turned to look at Jonathan. Even now my heart melted when I looked into his eyes. “I’m looking.” I said jokingly.

What happened last night, I want to apologize for. I was over taken by everything that happened. And when you comforted me that afternoon, I was so happy and comfortable in your arms. When you left last night, you said that you loved me too much to let anything like that happen. Was that true?”

Not was Jonathan that comment was not some fleeting moment. It is how I have felt about you for many years. I have loved you before I even knew what love was. Now I cannot love you and you can’t even begin to love me. I am a magic user, an enemy.”

We don’t know that for sure. Sara could be wrong.”

I grabbed my switch blade from the dresser and opened it up. I held out my arm and slid the blade down, slicing the skin. Blood poured out of the wound.

Oh my God Aish, what do you think you are doing?” He rushed over to me grabbing the wound with his hand, trying to stop the bleeding.

I pushed his hand away, “just watch.” I moved the cut to my mouth and let my tongue gently lick it. I envisioned the skin closing and the body healing back to its original form. I moved my arm away from my mouth, showing Jonathan the now closed wound. His eyes widened. “See, I am evil. I am a monster.”

Jonathan touched my arm lightly, “Oh Aisha. You are not a monster. You are perfect. And now with this,” he ran his fingers over the closed wound and sighed. “With this, you are unique and I desire you even more.” He placed his hand on my cheek, stroking it gently with his fingers. “Why have you never told me how you felt before?”

Because you deserve better. You deserve a Kin who can give you a shifter child, a kin who is born of a werewolf and a kin. I am not. “

You think that is all that matters to me? Having the perfect offspring is not what I want in my heart. Now, having a relationship with you, being with you, having children with you, now that is my idea of perfect.” He sat down on my bed and I followed suit. “You have been the girl of my dreams for years, and I had no idea I was the man of yours. If I would have known how you felt,” he sighed as he glanced to the floor and then back to me, “well let’s just say you would not be living here with your folks and needing to bar hop every night.” I looked down at the ground, soft tears running down my cheek. “Maybe we would not be in this situation now, but I cannot let you go now. I cannot let you run off to the city with something following you around.” He grabbed my chin gently and turned my face to his, kissing my lips softly. “I love you.”

I pulled back, “God Jonathan you have no idea how long I have waited to hear all that from you. And I want to be with you more than anything, but it is impossible now. I will not have you risk your name and the reserve over me. We have a good thing going here and a lot of people depend on this place for a home. And the spirits, what about them? We can’t let this place go down for our own selfish reasons.”

But I would risk it all for you.”

With that I pulled my hand back and slapped him hard across the cheek. I knew it did not hurt, but I did not care. I was making a point.

Book: Chapter Six

Here it is! The lost chapter six. Hope you all enjoy it. Chapter eight will be posted tomorrow, make sure you reread chapter seven to make sure you did not miss anything!

****Warning, this is not a PG novel. There is language! So, if you are offended by words, I would not read.****



The community on the reserve was deep within the acreage in the woods. Dirt roads lead into the community square which spanned out into five different living areas. The leaders lived in the northern most area and the rest of the werewolves and their kin lived on the rest of the roads, creating a star shape. In the center there was a general store, a community center, and a pub/diner.

When we got to the center of the community, we took the farthest road to the right towards my house. All the houses were alike in outward appearance. Modest yet rustic looking, each house was a log cabin. I saw my mothers white lace curtains through our windows as we approached my house. Flowers aligned the sidewalk soaking the sun into their white and pink perfection. The place always reminded me of a house out of a country home magazine.

“Thank God, they are not home. My mom would grill me if she saw me out of that bed right now.” I reached for the car door handle.

“Will you be alright?” Razzi asked, “Need my help with anything?”

“I’ll be fine. But, lets just keep this whole healing thing on the down-low. Sound good?” I tapped my lips with my finger giving a little “shh” as I smiled.

“Always,” Razzi said with a smile as I shut her door. I stepped back and watched her pull out of the driveway. I was finally alone, yet I felt whole and part of something more. I needed some time to think and relax and bathe, yes that was right on the top of my list.

I walked into the house and ran right into my bedroom, locking my door behind me. My room was simple with only a bed, dresser, and desk taking up the modest space. Pictures were plastered the 3 foot tall mirror which attached to the far left wall. They were mostly of Razzi and I as kids, but there were also pictures of my family, other friends, and, of course, wolves.

I walked into my bathroom which was a pearl white with blue trim. I pulled back the shower curtain and started the hot water, adding just a little bit of cold to create the perfect temperature. I lit some lavender candles and went back to my room while the tub filled closing the door behind me to let the bathroom full with warmth. I peeled off my clothes and the bandages, looking at my body in the full length mirror. The scars were visible on my upper shoulder, ribs and back. They might heal over with time and some scar cream, but they really did not look that bad. Plus, most of the werewolves found scars attractive, battle wounds.

Steam began to rise out from underneath the door, helping rise the sticky, moist humidity that was common around these parts of Pennsylvania. Water beaded on my skin as I opened the door to let the steam out and walked towards the tub. I slid one foot in carefully checking to make sure the water was not too hot, I really did not need another accident so soon. I slid down into the water, only keeping my head exposed. The heat soothed my skin and joints. I was in such a state of relaxation by just soaking there that I felt I never needed to move again.

I tried to make sense of my situation, but as the water sat utterly still around me, nothing was becoming any clearer. Maybe all of this was just a severe hallucination, which would make perfect sense if Raz was going crazy too, and that really did not seem to be the case. I looked to my right and saw my razor sitting on the side of the tub. I had to prove to myself that I was not crazy and what better way then to cause harm and try to heal it.

I grabbed the razor and placed it against my left wrist. Hmm, these things were about impossible to slice open your wrists with. Maybe I should not start with such a big vein, what if I really was going crazy and nothing happened. Then I would be laying in the bathtub dying and that was not the goal. So I focused on something smaller, like a finger. I put my hands back under water to soften up the skin. Mentally gathering up the courage to cut yourself was a lot tougher than it sounds. I pulled my hands back out of the water and placed the pad on the razors blade. I let my finger rest there for a moment and took a deep breath in. I held my breath as I pushed hard with the razor and quickly slid it to the right. A sharp, paper cut like pain started as a bit of blood welled up on the wound. Now came the hard part, how did I heal myself in the first place?

I put my finger in my right palm and clasped my hand around it. Closing my eyes, I breathed out and said “Heal.” I wasted only a few seconds before I realized that was probably the dumbest idea ever. I remembered the dream that I had in the hospital. There was a man rubbing me and kissing the wounds. I settled back into the tub, placed my finger in my mouth, and licked the wound slowly. I closed my eyes and envisioned the wound closing. I saw the skin knit closed, felt the pain go away. I pulled my finger out of my mouth, inspecting it closely. It worked…it actually worked. I was not sure how or why, but I now knew I was not crazy. I could heal myself and I saw it with my own eyes.

Well now what? I can heal, which is good and bad. This could be really awesome, maybe I cannot die now. Maybe I am now immortal, probably not but nonetheless, healing was cool. But with the good comes the bad. Werewolves do not trust things they cannot understand. I know, what is weirder than a werewolf? Magic users and vampires that’s what. And neither explains a nonwerewolf healing kin. Maybe I was just special. I doubt it, but I had to be careful.

Ding Dong. You have got to be kidding me. “Just a second!” I yelled, hoping they could hear me through my open bedroom window. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around me. I went to the door, not bothering to look at the window, whoever was there knew I was home anyway. I flung the door open, holding the towel tight around my body. There was no one there. I looked down and spotted a package, a simple brown box with a red bow around it. A small write card was stuck under the bow. I walked out onto the porch to the stairs, searching for a car, person, anything. There was no sign of anyone. Shrugging, I picked up the box and brought it inside.

Placing the box on my bed, I checked the card to see if it was even for me. ‘Aisha’ was written in cursive on the outside of the card. Not a handwriting that I recognized. I gently shook the box and heard an object shifting inside. I picked up the envelope so that I could open the card. The card was just a plain white card. The same cursive was inside. It read ‘Careful what you wish for.’ I turned it over looking for anything else. Nothing. Not even a signature. What was this suppose to mean? I placed the card on the bed and pulled the red bow off of the box. I lifted the lid off the box and placed it on the bed beside the card and the bow. Looking inside I saw pictures laying on top of a tissued mass. I picked up the pictures to get a closer look.

The first picture was of my Jeep in perfect condition. Weird, who would want a picture of my Jeep? The next picture was of my Jeep again, only this time it was smashed into a tree and laying on the drivers side. Panic set in as I realized when these were taken. I quickly switched to the next picture to confirm. This was was even harder to face. There I was, lifting myself out from the passenger window of the car with a large silver wolf coming up behind me. The forth picture was taken just after Razzi raked her claws down my back. The final picture was when Razzi sank her fangs into my shoulder. Seeing these images from another perspective made my heart race. The memory of the event flooded my mind as I sat on the bed. I could feel the claws enter my ribs, the slicing of muscles down my back, and the crunching of bones in my shoulder. Pain shot through my body as the visions became more than just memories. I hugged myself and rocked slowly back and forth, soothing myself until my breathing slowed and my heart stopped racing. I tried to compose myself, remembering that these were just pictures and the memories were not real. My mind was tricking me. Where the hell did these come from anyway?

I remembered the tissue wrapped item still sitting in the box. I pulled the box onto my lap, not really wanting to touch the item inside. Hesitantly, I peeled off the tape on the paper and saw there was something white inside. I pulled the tissue back more and gasped as I pushed the box off my lap and onto the floor. The item popped out and slide across my carpet. That could not be what it looked like…

Slowly, I stood up and walked over to the tissued mass on the ground. I pulled the paper off the object and revealed a horn, Bill’s horn. It was white again, not silver anymore. There was dried blood on one end that would have been in his skull. I ran to the bathroom and threw up bile. I sat there on the cool floor for a few moments. Trying to steady my breath.

I stood slowly since I was still a little light headed and walked back into my bedroom. How did Bill’s horn get in there? It had to have been the person how killed him who sent me the package. They would have had to grabbed it after the werewolves found him dead since Razzi said they found both horns in him at the time. Plus they were silver then too. Was she mistaken? But who would stalk Razzi and I and then kill Bill? I had to call Jonathan and I knew this was not going to be a fun mess to add to the already complicated situation.

I picked up the phone and dialed Jonathan’s number. He finally picked up after four rings, “Hello.”

“Jonathan, it’s Aisha. Look, I know this is sudden, but I need you to come over right now. It is an emergency.”

“Where are you? I thought you were at the hospital.”

I hesitated, “they umm let me go. Said I was fine and dandy. Now, this is important Jonathan, I need you to come to my house.”

He must have sensed something in my voice because he stopped questioning. “OK Aish, I will be right over.”

“Thanks, see you soon.” I hung up before he could say anything more. I through on a pair of shorts and a tank top. I finished the outfit by putting my gun holster across my back and put in two Colt .45’s. I was not taking any chances.

The doorbell rang and this time I checked the peephole before opening the door. Jonathan had arrived and was wearing his normal red flannel shirt and khaki pants. As I opened the door I realized that I had not really thought about how I was going to tell him the news. Something like ‘hey Jonathan. I found our guardians horn in a box on my doorstep with a bunch of pictures of me getting killed, so how are you today?’ Yeah that shit did not work.

We stood there for a moment in silence, me not knowing what to say to him and him probably wondering what the hell was wrong with me. Jonathan finally broke the silence, “uhhh Aisha?” he asked as he waved his hand in front of my face which snapped me out of my own thoughts.

“Oh hi Jonathan.” I gave him a soft smile, “I am so sorry to call you over like this but…” it hit me like a ton of bricks, Bill’s horn was laying on the floor of my bedroom. I fell into Jonathan’s arms and started sobbing. I cried hard as Jonathan wrapped his arms around me. I felt secure in his embrace and he just let me cry as long as I needed. I just had to tell him, but no words would come out of my mouth. I opted to grab his hand and drag him into my bedroom. Probably not the best idea, but at least I did not have to find the words.

I stopped right at the doorway and stood there looking at Jonathan, “I have to warn you, what you are about to see is going to upset you to your core. But please, do not rage and kill me OK?”

“OK Aisha, you are starting to scare me. This must be pretty bad.”

“It’s worse.” I stepped back into my room and let him walk inside. I quickly grabbed the pictures off my bed and handed them to him. “I found a box on my doorstep and those were inside.” He looked at each picture slowly taking each of them in. His facial expression remained blank.

Jonathan sat down on the bed, “Who took these Aisha?” he snapped. I knew he had a few reasons to be mad. First, photographing a werewolf was a bad thing, we did not want the normal people to find out. Secondly, it was worse to be photographing a werewolf killing someone.

“I don’t know. Like I said they were in that box,” I shifted nervously. “But there was something else in there too.” I stepped to the side and pointed at the heap of tissue paper on the floor.

Jonathan glanced at me nervously, “what is that Aisha?” He stood up from the bed and took a few steps forward. I moved to my bed and sat down, putting my head in my hands and closing my eyes. I did not want to see this again. I heard the floorboards creak as he walked closer. Then he stopped, he must have been standing right by the horn now. Another loud creak happened as he must have shifted his weight and crouched down. The crinkle of the tissue paper was came next and tear welled up in my eyes as I knew he what he was about to see. A horrified gasp erupted in the room. “Oh my God. Aisha. Is this? Oh no it cannot be. I mean, is this Bills’?” I could feel his heart race in the back of my throat.

I nodded my head in my hands, if he was holding the horn I did not want to know. I heard a loud thud as a pair of hands grabbed my shoulders. I lifted my head knowing he was not holding the horn anymore. “Aish, you have to tell me who sent you this.”

“I don’t know,” I answered, not making eye contact. I did not want to see the hurt in Jonathan’s eyes. He ans Bill were best friends and now I was adding to the pain he was already feeling. Jonathan sat on the bed in front of me and lifted my chin to meet his eyes. Just looking into those sad and lonely eyes made me want to tear up again, but my eyes felt like they dried out. His face was so close that I could feel his breath on my skin and smell his musky cologne. I searched his face for a clue to the next step. What could I say? What could I do? Staring deep into his eyes, I felt the answer creep up inside of me. He wanted to be held, consoled, and told everything was going to be OK, even though it was not going to be.

I put my hands behind his head and pulled it towards me chest. It was a gesture of comfort and Jonathan took it as one letting his head rest gently on my breasts as I stroked his hair. He let his hands fall along my waist and rest there gently. After a few moments, I felt something wet fall between my breasts and Jonathan’s hands clench my waist tightly. The tears started to flow and I let him cry in silence. Moments passed and I kissed him gently on the top of his head and laid my cheek down on it. I did not tell him it would be OK, because it would never be. We held each other for what felt like hours, even though it had only been a few minutes.

Jonathan’s tears stopped flowing and he lifted his head up to look me in the eyes, “thank you Aisha. I really needed that.” Before I could say anything, he leaned in and kissed me gently on the lips. I closed my eyes and savored the moment. My heart skipped a few beats as he pulled away. “Well…”he paused, “I am just gonna get this over to Melissa and see if she can get a read on it,” he stammered as I felt him stand up from the bed. I opened my eyes and smiled softly, but I was still unable to speak.

He started to back out of my room, “I will see you later Aish,” he said with a hurried smile. I lifted my hand and waved to him a soft goodbye. As he turned away, I wanted to yell out to him to come back, or at least run up to him and kiss him back. But I just couldn’t, his kiss took my breath away. When did I become so weak?

Book: Chapter Seven

Day six of novel chapters, which still require a lot of edits. Sneaky, sneaky, I skipped a chapter! Actually, I lost a whole chapter and I am not sure how. I opened the document and it was just gone. Now I need to retype it all up….which with the baby could take some time. But I do not want to break up the flow, so here is chapter seven. Comments and emails are welcome! 🙂

****Warning, this is not a PG novel. There is language! So, if you are offended by words, I would not read.****


I sat there for a moment analyzing the situation: Jonathan kissed me, I received a box with pictures of me and the accident and Connor’s horn. Ok so Jonathan kissing me was not really part of the situation, but it was a nice parting gift. I then knew who could probably help me. Ryan was the resident techy, and he could probably trace the pictures to some sort of source. There could even be some prints on them. I picked up the phone and quickly dialed his number.

Talk to me.” A sharp voice answered. Ryan always tried to find a way to be a smooth operator.

You know you are really not cool enough to say things like that, especially when you are answering the phone.”

Ouch Babe, you know how to cut me to the core.” I could just hear the smile seeping through this voice.

Don’t you go all playboy with me. You know I can kick your ass.” Actually he was totally doable but Razzi would have killed me…again. “The truth of the matter is that I need your help.” I told him the whole story, well not the whole story; I left out the crying and the kissing. There were just some things you did not tell Ryan.

How many pictures are there again? Five?”

Yes. Think you can trace them?”

I will see what I can do. I will meet you at your place before Connor’s ceremony. I can get them off you then.”

Thanks Ryan, I own you one.”

Just wear a miniskirt tonight and we will call it even.” I could hear him snickering in the background.

You’re a dick!” I said as I clicked the phone shut. I smiled to myself knowing it was good to have friends like him.

There was to be a full moon celebration tonight, however it was changed to a Passover ceremony for Connor. I was to be Melissa’s second as Rite Mistress. She was teaching me the rituals of werewolf culture and this was to be my eighth lesson but first time in practice. Even though I was not a werewolf and could not conjure the spirits, Melissa felt that participation in the rite was crucial to my studies. I had agreed, until now. I was just hoping that I was able to perform the ritual without some crazy healing shit happening for all to see. And with the way today was going, I could only pray tonight would be much better.

At around eight o’clock, there was a knock at my door. The ceremony did not begin till nine, but it was good that Ryan was early. I was already dressed in my garb: a traditional form fitting white robe and nothing else. It was not see through, but it was sheer enough that if you looked really hard you could possibly catch a glimpse of something.  However, this is why the rituals were usually performed at night, at least that is what I told myself.

I opened the door to Ryans smiling face. He looked me up and down, “they gave you a nice robe I see.”

Wipe that shit eating grin off your face. You know they make us wear these things.”

Oh I know, but I rarely get to see them on in the light. Let me tell you,” he leaned in close to my ear and whispered, “It’s a much better view.”

I rolled my eyes and quickly crossed my arms in front of my chest. “Perv!” I commented as I started heading towards my bedroom.

The view is much better from behind,” Ryan snickered.

I am just gonna pretend that I did not hear that,” I yelled back. I opened the door to my room and suddenly felt hands on my outer thighs and a body pressed against my back.

Aisha,” he whispered, “let me be yours. We would make beautiful werewolf children “

Ryan, think I do not know about you? How your little swimmers don’t survive the trip”

Well,” he sighed, “can’t we just fuck like bunnies and no one is the wiser?” he started to move his hands around my thighs to a more intimate location.

I quickly grabbed his hands to stop them. “Ryan, there are a few reasons why this cannot go any further, none of which I can tell you about.” I pushed his hands down and grabbed the pictures from the bed. I spun in the small space between him and the bed, holding the pictures up to my face so he could see them. “So, let’s talk about some important matters.”

He smiled taking the pictures from my hands, and looking through them slowly. His demeanor changed instantly, “Aish are you sure no one was following you?”

Not that I could see. Besides, I was driving too fast to really tell. Razzi freaking out and shifting sort of breaks my concentration.”

Oh I bet. What happened that night anyway? She is too stubborn to talk about it.”

Well she was dating that loser Chris from that dance club in Pittsburgh. We surprised him by picking him up from his house before we went out on Friday. Turns out, we were the ones surprised when a girl in a bra and panties answered the door, completely high I might add.” I laughed, “you should have seen how hard she hit the ground when Razzi just smashed her fist into the girls sluttly little face.”

He smiled, “Razzi was always a wild cat. But these Aisha,” he held up the pictures, “these are bad. They could run them in the paper, or worse put them on the net.”

That is why I called you over here, to catch that little prick. Either they killed Connor or they helped. Either way, they need to die.” I smiled at him, “besides, you’re the best at this kinda thing.”

You’re goddamned right I am.” He looked down at his watch, “Need a lift to the ritual?”

Sure, but no funny stuff.”

Ryan held up his index and middle finger, “Scouts honor.”

I gathered my things and put the hood up on the robes, “Let’s roll.” Ryan nodded and led me to his car, a beautiful ’69 Mustang, again showing off his panty melting abilities.

We drove through the darkness in the silence of our own thoughts. I realized that I had not yet told Razzi about the pictures, and she would suffer more than I if these got out. I would need to talk to her after the ritual. We finally reached the clearing and 20 odd vehicles were already parked. Ryan shut off the engine and sat there quietly for a moment.

Aish, can I ask you a question and please be honest.” His voice was quiet and unsure, not like the Ryan I knew.

Of course.”

Why won’t you let me be with you? You deny all my advances and I put myself out there for you. Is it because I cannot reproduce?” A hint of sadness echoed the car.

Oh Ryan, it is not about the children thing at all. You are a wonderfully handsome, charming and sweet but..” I paused rethinking my choice of words. “But there is someone else I love. See I love you yes, very much so, but as a lover only. This other I love as a mate. If they were not around, then you would be the only one for me.” I touched his shoulder gently.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me close to him, kissing me rough on the lips. After a moment or two he pulled back, “Consider that a kiss to seal that promise.”

I touched my lips gently and nodded. Slowly, I got out of the car. What was it with me today? I know I almost died, but I have never seen attention like this before. First Jonathan and now Ryan. It was like I was a party and everyone thought they were invited.

I walked over to the ritual starting area to meet with Melissa. A small brown wolf lay beside her while she was preparing the final touches. I knew the little wolf instantly; it was Sara, a werewolf who felt more comfortable in wolf form than any other. Her head rose when I approached. Curiously, she stood and walked over to me. I gave her a slight head nod as a greeting. Sara bowed her head in response and walked closer to me, sniffing. Now, I have been sniffed by the wolves before, but this was not just a sniff, this was a search. Sara made some guttural growling noises to Melissa which I did not understand. Melissa nodded and came over to me.

Sara says you smell of energy. Wolf and energy to be exact.” More noise came from Sara and Melissa nodded. “She says that you are different than before.”

I looked at Melissa, not really sure how to respond. “But I am me, no different. What does she mean Melissa?”

I do not know my dear. We will talk afterwards. But for now we have a ceremony to perform.” Sara and I both nodded.

Book: Chapter Five

I had to retype this entire chapter, opened my document on the computer and it was all gone same with chapter six! But all of the chapters after were there and fine. Odd…well I will type up chapter six today for tomorrow. For now, enjoy chapter five. Still requires a lot of edits. Comments and emails are welcome! 🙂

****Warning, this is not a PG novel. There is language! So, if you are offended by words, I would not read.****


As he slid his hands down my spine, a shudder ran through me. “Open yourself up to me my love. Feel my body open to and take all you desire. Draw on my energy and feel your wounds be healed. A pair of hands came around my shoulders kneading all the knots loose and giving my pure relaxation. His soft breath on my neck sent a wave of pleasure over my body. His arms encased me and pulled me closer to his body. “Let me be one with you Aisha,” he whispered as his fingers swept softly around my breasts. I leaned my head back to rest on his shoulders. I felt a tongue tickle the soft nape of my neck and I let out a soft moan of approval.

He kissed down my neck and across my shoulder until he reached my open wound. The bit marks punctured deep, but were not bleeding anymore. Hands slid down my waist as he pulled my hips into his. He ran his tongue along the wounds and I let out a small yelp. As he blew gently into the holes, a green glow erupted from his lips and entered the wound, filling them with a soft light.

“Aisha! Aisha! Wake up!” My eyes popped open and for a moment, who ever woke me up from my wonderful dream was going to die. I could always claim temporary insanity right?

I rubbed my eyes and focused on the body standing over me. It was Razzi, still wanted to beat the crap out of her, but I was happy she was alive. “What Razzi what? Can’t you see that I am trying to sleep? Shit!”

“Wow you are cranky. But I had to wake you Aish, look at your shoulder.”She pointed at my wounded right should and I looked over. “It’s healing…” The last of the bite wounds was closing underneath the stitches and pushing them out o my skin in front of my eyes.

I made a small gasp and stared with my jaw dropped. I touched my shoulder just to make sure I was not hallucinating. There was no pain just closed wounds forming slight scars. I looked up at Razzi, “Did Sheila do this?”

She lightly brushed my shoulder. “Oh god Aish, I don’t know. I just got here to check on you.” Her eyes started to well up and tears slowly dripped down her cheeks. “I’m sorry…”She plopped on the bed beside me. “I am so sorry for what I have done to you.” She put her head in her hands and sobbed.

I pulled Razzi closer into me and held her close, letting her cry on my newly healed shoulder. It was all ok now. She was finally a full werewolf and I could not be happier for her, and not only that, I was alive. I gently rubbed her back as she sobbed, the first change is an emotional time for a person, especially for one who just technically killed their best friend.

“Do you forgive me?” She lifted her head from my shoulder revealing her smeared makeup running down her cheeks. “I know I can never make up for what I did to you, but I am so very very sorry.” She lowered her eyes from me, not wanting to make eye contact.

I lifted her chin up and gently wiped the tears from her cheeks. “Always Razzi. You are family and I will always forgive family.” I smiled at her, “Plus look at me, I am totally fine!” I shrugged my shoulder making her look at the healed wounds. I would always have the scars, but the wounds were completely gone. “How does my back look?” I sat up in the bed to give her a better view.

I felt her remove the bandages from my back and rub her hands where the wounds were. Again there was no pain. “Oh my…Aish. Everything is closed back here too.” She showed me the stitches that fell out. “Same as your shoulder back here, except the scars…well they are a bit more noticeable.”

I got up and walked to the mirror in the bathroom. I turned my head and moved my hair to the side to see what I could on my back. There were flat but thick scars in an “X” shape, they seemed to have healed better than I could have ever done on my own. “Well, uhh, Sheila is a better healer than we ever thought possible. But it looks like I won’t be wearing any tank tops in public for a while.” I smiled trying to lighten the mood, but I knew that even though this was good, it was bad at the same time. No kinfolk should be able to heal like this, we were only human. Well most of us where, there were stories of a few select kin that could do some pretty neat things, but those were campfire stories. I lifted my hospital gown and removed the bandages on my ribs. Same thing. I know enough about the human body to know that my lung was punctured and I said a quick “thank you” to Gaia and put the gown back in place.

Razzi stood outside the bathroom door, and she was looking slightly pale. “This is not normal.” She swallowed hard, “not only normal, but, speaking in werewolf terms here totally nothing against you, they will see this as evil Aish. You know that.”

“I fuckin know Raz, I know. I just…”I sighed. “Shit…just hand me some bandages and we will wrap up the wounds. No one needs to know about this.”

She just nodded. Razzi knew this was serious. Werewolves do not like things they do not understand. And a healing kinfolk was right at the top of that list. There were horrible things that go bump in the night out there in the world that the normal person would not even know about. Vampires, demons, magic users, hell there are even evil werewolves. You name it, and it’s out there. The reserve had to be careful in protecting itself. I did not want to be seen as one of the bad guys. I had to try to keep this hidden. “How long have I been here?” I asked while I wrapped up my shoulder. Thankfully I have had lots of practice at applying bandages.

“5 days. They have kept you sedated for most of it.”

I pulled the IV out of my arm and disconnected the heart monitor. “We need to leave here Razzi. No one will ask questions if I just go home.” I grabbed the brown teddy from the foot of the bed. There was a car with it that read ‘Something to cuddle with at night.’ but there was no name with it. I started taking all of the cards off the flowers scattered around the room. They were from everyone; my parents, Razzi, and a few from ‘secret admirers.’ Jonathan even sent me an assortment of purple flowers with a card reading ‘I prayed for you while I cradled you in my arms. -J’

“Wait Aisha…there is something going on,” she paused and shifted her feet back and forth, “here at the reserve. There was an attack last night and -”

“What!” I gasped interrupting her thoughts.

“Yes….and Bill was killed…” her voice trailed off as the tears welled up in her eyes. Bill was the guardian of the reserve. It was the job of his pack and himself to scout and watch the grounds at all times. Bill has been the guardian since I can remember. He was a remarkable man with a massive frame. Hell, I looked like I was a midget when I stood next to him. Bill was born with a deformity in which he had two massive horns that came out the sides of his head and because of this, he was never allowed to leave the reserve.

A small tear slid down my cheek, “what was it that killed him Razzi? Do we know who it was?”

Razzi closed her eyes and put her head in her hands. Soft sobs came from her, “please do not make me talk about it again Aish.”

I grabbed her shoulders roughly and shook her. She was a werewolf for godsakes, she needed to be stronger. Razzi lifted her head as we meet gazes. “Tell me Razziel, you must tell me what happened.” I glared into her eyes, letting her know I meant business.

“Fine, you win,” she said with a sigh as she sat down on the bed wiping the tears from her eyes. She finally spoke after taking a deep breath, “One of his pack members found him…hanging from a tree while he was on his morning patrol.” I closed my eyes trying to shield myself from the blow of the news, it did not work. I was just sick to my stomach. “There is more. His horns were snapped off and one was shoved into his heart and one into his right eye.”

“But that would not have killed him. We both know just how resilient werewolves are. Not much can kill them short of silver or cutting their head off. So what was the cause of death?” I questioned.

“That is what I was getting at. The horns were not bone when they stabbed him, but silver.”

“What? How is that even possible?”

“No clue. Everyone’s working on figuring that out though.”

“This is crazy. The reserve is like a fortress to even get into. How did anyone get on here in the first place? Maybe this was just the first attack. There could be more. This does not just seem like a random occurrence.”

Razzi shook her head, “let’s not think that way. Come on, we need to get you home. Everyone has been worried.”

I searched the drawers for close since I did not want to wear the flimsy hospital gown outside. Luckily, I found some clothes that my mother must have brought over. “Watch the door. I would hate for someone to come in and see I am wound free.” I slipped on the black tank top, blue jeans and pulled my hair back. I checked all the bandages to make sure they looked believable. I slipped all the cards into my back pocket and grabbed the bear, “OK, let’s get out of here.”

We strolled out the back entrance of the hospital, “how bad is the Jeep? Can I still drive it?” I wondered. I really hoped it was not too bad since it was my only ride.

“Hate to tell you this, but remember that tree we crashed into? Well, you were luckily to survive the impact, the Jeep…well it was not so lucky.”

I laughed, “well shit. Think you can give me a ride home?”

“Always.” Razzi said with a smile as we got into her blue Scion.

“Raz, when are you gonna ditch this little car and pick up a big girl truck? This thing is so dinky it will fall apart some day.”

“Oh please little miss five car accidents in three years!” She started laughing and it was infectious. I do not know if it was the morphine or maybe I had a concussion, but once I started laughing I could not quit and we giggled the whole way home. I pushed out of my mind all the bad that had happened, even if it was just for a moment. Damn it felt good to be alive.

Book: Chapter Four

Hope you are enjoying the chapters so far! More novel chapters, which still require a lot of edits. Comments and emails are welcome! 🙂

****Warning, this is not a PG novel. There is language! So, if you are offended by words, I would not read.****


I slept like the dead; someone must have finally given me the drugs my body craved. I opened my eyes to a room I knew well. I was at the hospital on site at the wolf reserve. Well, being a reserve was just a cover. All the werewolves lived on the reserve, well except for a few who lived in the city for work. It was 300 acres of woods, but in the middle was a community for all the werewolves and their kin family. My parents ran the hospital and taught me how to be a field medic in the time of battle. Generally, I work around the hospital as a nurse.

I wonder how long I have been out for. I looked on the nightstand to find flowers of all colors and sizes. I could only imagine who sent them all. I would just check the cards later. I always felt obligated to send thank you cards after I received a gift. I guess my mother taught me well. A teddy bear peered at me from the foot of the bed. All this attention over one little accident? I wondered what happened to Razzi.

I laid there and thought about what happened in my own mind. I thought about Ice and wondered what she meant when she said I was going to be great. I will never be great like the shape shifters I grew up with. But what if she was right? What if I was meant for more than just a breeding tool? I knew that day was coming when Jonathan or the other leaders of the werewolves could not protect me from the hands of the other males. I saw how they looked at me with desire in their eyes. It made my skin crawl at times with their perpetual stares. But the leaders protected me for some reason. I did not know why.

Razzi and I could have any man here, but we both had our eyes on bigger prizes. Where, I have been in love with Jonathan since I could talk, Razzi only had eyes for Ryan. Ryan was the cyber tech of the reserve and a trust fund baby to boot. Next to Jonathan, he was probably the most handsome guy in the world. He was not nearly six foot, but his presence over took any room. His spiked, bleach blond hair stood on his head and his crystal blue eyes lit up his whole face, especially when he smiled. Oh…and that smile could melt the panties off any women he showed it to.

Sadly though, Razzi’s love was forbidden and more unlikely to happen than mine was. See, two full blooded changing werewolves were forbidden to breed; even loving each other was taboo. This was one of the most important laws the werewolves held. Now, I am not saying that it did not happen from time to time, one cannot help who they fall in love with no matter what can happen to them in the end, but this was severely…frowned upon. When two werewolves mated the child was born with too much spirit energy causing them to be born so wild and usually when they were the babies would go through their first change while the mother was in labor. The mothers would usually die during child birth and the children were then “put down” like you would do to a sick animal. If they ever found out who the father was, he was then put to death under Gaia’s laws.

Under Jonathan’s leadership at this reserve, we have had three children born this way. Two of the mothers lived and one of them died, all of the babies had survived and none had been executed.  The only reason the mothers lived was because of Melissa and the other healers on the reserve. Jonathan knew who the fathers were and never punished them. He was more compassionate than the other werewolf leaders and felt that the children should not be killed for their parent’s sins. However, he also felt that you cannot help who you loved, so the parent’s were not at fault either. Only a few of us knew the truth about the children and the parents, and I only knew because I was a nurse at one of the births. Sadly, it was not a birth that ended well.

This is why the werewolves keep their kin, like me, around. See, kin carry the genes to be a werewolf. We do not always birth a werewolf, but we always create other kin. The werewolf population was dwindling, and the only way to increase it was to increase breeding. I was one of the oldest non-mothers on the reserve and I was planning on keeping it that way for a while.

The door to the room slid open revealing Melissa in her normal white dress attire. Since she was the resident healer on the reserve, she spent a lot of time in the hospital. I always wondered what it was like to heal like her. Some werewolves had special abilities like healing and the like. I was always jealous of such abilities especially healing. It felt it was my calling.

Melissa smiled when she realized I was awake. “How are you feeling?”

“I am pretty sore,” I said as I sat up in the bed, “but otherwise ok. “

She walked over to the bed, sitting herself down on the edge, as she stroked my hair behind my ears.  “I am very happy to hear that. Gaia did not seem to want you leaving this world. You are truly blessed little one. “

“See Melissa that is what I do not understand. How did I live? I mean, not many people can be ripped apart by one of your kind and live to talk about it.”

“I am not sure, but I will say that you have a strong spirit inside of you keeping you grounded and safe in the mortal world. It loves you more than any creature can truly love another.” She briefly looked away, “I can tell you that it was not me that brought you back from the spirit world…” She trailed off. I trusted Melissa to tell me the truth in all matters, and I believed her, but I still had no idea how I was alive today.

“Where is Razzi?” I asked, “Is she ok?”

Melissa looked back at me and let out a little laugh, “just like you Aisha, putting others before your very being. You are going to make a great wife and mother someday.” I frowned at her off-topicness and she gave another smile as she noticed it. “Razzi is at home. I sent her away after she sat here for three days straight. I will call her and tell her she can stop by, but only for a minute…you need your rest.” Melissa stood up from the bed and there was a soft sadness in her eyes. I knew there was something she was not telling me.

I grabbed at her hand as she faced away from me. “What are you not telling me Melissa? You know I am more empathic than that.”

She stayed facing the door as she took a deep breath before she spoke in a muted voice, “you know Aisha, when a person is brought back from the dead, a mark is left on their soul. It shows that darkness has grabbed at you and tried to pull you in. If you let it, this mark can encompass your being, tearing you from the inside out. I am giving you this warning not to scare you, but to prepare you for the time you may face in the future, “ I let her hand go as she finished and walked slowly to the door, not looking back. “Heed my warning, my child, evil is everywhere, stay strong and do not get pulled away from Gaia.”

Melissa put her hand on the door knob, “Wait!” I yelled. “What does all this mean? Please talk to me Melissa.”

She slowly turned back and raised up her palm, “I have already said too much and you need your rest. Sleep child and let your body heal.” With that she walked out the door. I lay back in bed staring up at the ceiling. The pure white of the paint was somehow not as clean as I remembered it. It was fading, changing to yellow over time.  I wondered what Melissa meant by all that. Ice did not seem to be evil, and I thought she healed me? I let sleep drag me in again. Why did it feel so good to be dead to the world?