Continuing my novel chapters, which still require a lot of edits. Comments and emails are welcome! 🙂
****Warning, this is not a PG novel. There is language! So, if you are offended by words, I would not read.****
As I float somewhere between nothingness and eternity, the darkness encompasses my body not just my sight. But why am I still here? My spirit was to be taken by Gaia when I died. Was I not good enough to be accepted into her arms? I may not be a full blooded werewolf, but I am still their kin damnit! That has to mean something. I have done well not to let anyone mate with me to be more pure for Gaia. I have done more for Gaia in my 23 years than most werewolves have in their lifetimes. I was a den mother to all the cubs, wolf and human alike for fuck sake. Is it because I have not produced a full blooded child of my own? Or because I have not found a mate yet? What does She want from me? I was a human….but I served as a full blood…
I cried silently to myself, gasping louder with each breath, reaching almost to the point of hyperventilation. I curled into a ball, hugging myself tightly. I did not hurt anymore either. My cries quickly turned to sobs as the idea of floating in nothingness for all existence hit me like a ton of bricks.
I am not sure how much time passed , but I know I was out of tears by the time I noticed the changes. Suddenly, I realized that I was no longer floating, but I was laying on a solid surface and a cool dampness trickled my skin. I opened my eyes, peering out from my tight safe ball. Fog surrounded me, creating a dense white haze, like you see in the movies. The air was so thick, that I could not see a few feet in front of my face and it was getting harder to breathe. White columns jetted up towards the sky, seemingly ending nowhere. I stood up, walking slowly around the area. Nothing moved around me, and only the calmness of my walk kept the fog still.
“Hello?” I said quietly. Yeah right Aisha, like there is anyone here. I must really be losing it. This place was never ending, just a flow of white columns and fog.
Something puttered behind me. I jumped, nearly being scared out of my skin. I turned around seeing nothing but more white thickness. I slid behind the column closest to me. ‘Get a hold of yourself Aisha, you are alone and will be forever’ I thought to myself. A flash of white appeared in my right peripheral vision. I crouched down, trying to surround myself with the fog, providing me some cover. Maybe, I really was not alone.
There was movement to my left this time. I searched viciously through the mist, trying to find something, anything, that could be stalking around me. I could not see anything so I just sat there waiting and straining my ears to see if I could hear any movement. Maybe my ears would see what my eyes could not. I closed my eyes and tried to let my body feel what could be coming. A soft patter came in from all around me. The sound engulfed the air around me , echoing off the columns like a symphony. My breathing slowed to almost a halt as the sound of my heart grew louder and louder in my ears. I took a deep breath to try and calm my pulse, but there was no slowing it.
Even though I could not see past all the fog, I opened my eyes and let them adjust to the moisture. I checked my gun holster at my back, searching frantically for my guns. Empty. Shit…but of course they were empty, there are no guns in purgatory. Unless this was all part of my subconscious, but if it was, it was doing a shitty job, I never left home without those damn things. If I was attacked here I was screwed. I know how to fight, but I’ll be damned if those noises I heard were human.
Suddenly, the noise stopped and I could still not sense where it was coming from. I slowly peeked around the column, trying to keep as quiet as possible. There was nothing there. Where the heck as this thing? Better yet, what was this thing?
“Aisha” a voice whispered. This time I let out a little yelp as my heart jumped into my throat. “Aisha” the voice echoed, “my child.”
I slowly turned back around. As I did, I felt something soft brush against my left cheek. I gasped as I paused mid turn, taking a deep shaky breath. I turned my head to the left , unsure of what I would see. A large white wolf stood in front of me. Now, I have lived with wolves my whole life, but I have never seen any wolf that looked like this. She towered over me as I sat still on the ground, which in essence, was how I knew she was female. I stared into her icy blue eyes as they drew me in like a never ending ocean. There was certain wisdom to them and I knew that I was not in danger. She did not look like a regular werewolf, how often do you get to say something like that! I reached towards the wolf and touched her soft white fur. She rubbed her muzzle into my hand. It was a familiar feeling of respect and love.
“Where am I wolf? Who are you? Why have I been brought here?” I whispered softly hoping that she had all the answers.
She gave a small nod, “Aisha, my child, my name is Ice and I have brought you here deep into your soul so that you could finally have your eyes opened. “ Her mouth did not move, but her voice rang sweetly in my ears.
“But I’m dead.” I proclaimed as I withdrew my hand. “Razzi…she killed me. She ripped open my body and fed on my flesh.” Tears welled up in my eyes.
“Perhaps.” She said. “Maybe if you opened your soul up, you would know that there is much more to you than meets the eye.”
“Am I one of them? Am I finally going to become what I always felt I truly was?” A smile flashed across my face. Maybe this was what it was like to go through your first change. Maybe you met your werewolf soul.
The wolf gave a sad sort of smile as she looked at me. “My child, you have known deep within your mind for a long time that is not true. You may have been born of the wolves, but you are not and can never fully be one of them. However you have the potential to be something way more powerful than one of those wolves could ever dream of being.” That last bit had a cocky sort of edge to it and her smile went from sad to fierce. It stung as I felt her ego grow in front of me.
“How is that even possible?” I felt a tear slide down my cheek. “There is nothing greater than one of those noble wolves…”I tilted my head up, showing just how stubborn I was. “I am lucky enough to just be related.”
“Quiet child!” Ice barked. “I know the wolves have treated you well, but it is time for you to have a wakeup call. I have been calling to you for years in your dreams and each call I have been ignored.” She raised her voice louder, “But no more will I suffer from your neglect. You will start to listen to me Aisha DeEspronceda. Out power extends far beyond the reaches of this world. Now I am giving you your final wake up call. When you open your eyes your wolves will be staring down at you, but know this, I am you true salvation. I am bringing you back to life. Not your precious wolves. “She spit out the words as I could feel the heat of anger raise off her body and her eyes went from their normal icy blue to a blood red. At the same time my chest felt hot and tight.
I grabbed at my chest, “Wait, I don’t understand. Tell me what I am. I need answers!” I was yelling. The heat rushed through my body as my vision started to blur. I stood and put my hands on my knees. My breath was loud as I almost exhaled to a growl. I was suddenly on the floor with Ice on top of me. Her teeth were bared and I was instantly calmed down.
“Aisha, do not let them change who you are. You are MY child, you were born of MY creation. They have no control over you, so calm down and act like the higher being that you are. “
I nodded slowly as I felt the wetness of my tears on my cheeks, and felt my pulse stifle as it slowed. Ice stepped to my side and gave me a soft smile, “Listen to your body, your mind, and spirit my child. “ With that she was gone and the darkness surrounded me with its aching chill.